Wagner to the Boston Red Sox

Billy Wagner is a rat, a clubhouse cancer, and a gnome-like, dispicable player. And he is now a member of the Boston Red Sox.

As much as I absolutely love and adore the BoSox, I refuse to ever, ever support Wags again on any team. Thankfully, the club has promised him to decline their club option for 2010, allowing him to sign wherever he'd like. Hopefully, that "wherever" is far, far away. Although the Phillies are my heart and soul, the BoSox are right behind. Luckily for me, the only real conflicts come during Interleague Play and if they happen to face each other in the World Series. Due to all of these factors, I'm not too peeved about their signing of the little bald goof. After Philly he stunk, anyways. The Sandman? More like The Whiner in the Sandbox at Kindergarten.

Oh, I almost forgot.

His agent's name is - get this - Bean Stringfellow. I love it. I just...I can't get over it. Bean Stringfellow. That's one for the books.

Welcome to Beantown, Wags. Now get the hell out once October is done.